


Step Into the Open Air

by Andramion



Series: This love, it is a burning sun [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Drabble, Gen, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-08-30 16:01:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8539405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andramion/pseuds/Andramion
Summary: All of them so much braver than Hitoka and while Hitoka watched them, the wish to one day become as courageous as them only grew bigger.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [boxofwonder](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boxofwonder/gifts).



> [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSzf1ntbDvw)
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> For my lovely, lovely Nico

There are always so many people braver than Hitoka can ever imagine being: the boy in elementary school who lead the whole group of children; the girl who was amazing at climbing trees and always got the balls that got stuck in the branches; the teacher who proudly told his class that he’d managed to propose to his girlfriend and was now going to get married; the big boy at the playground who scared away the dog that growled at Hitoka…

All of them so much braver than Hitoka and while Hitoka watched them, the wish to one day become as courageous as them only grew bigger.

The first time Hitoka is brave, he is ten years old and tells his mother “I’m not a girl" and it's immediately rewarded when Madoka sits him down on the sofa and asks him to tell her about everything.

And it doesn't end there, his mother's support. On the weekend after, she takes him out to the city centre and happily picks clothes off the racks she thinks he might like. Hitoka rejoices in the wide pick of clothing items, in how free he feels now that he doesn't have to keep telling himself to keep this a secret, that he's weird, that's it's something he should keep to himself.

* * *

A week later Yachi Madoka asks him to set the table for dinner and stops in the middle of her actions.

"Hey, Hi-chan?" she asks him as he takes bowls out of the cupboard and neatly stacks them into the crook of his arm. "Are you okay being called Hitoka?"

Hitoka looks at her with a frown on his face, thinking that one over. It's not that the name itself really bothers him and he doesn't really mind that the other kids at school think he's a girl.

"I don't know," he tells her and her lips curl up a little into an apologetic smile.

"It's okay, sweetie," she tells him, walking around the kitchen counter and patting him on the top of his head. "You can take your time thinking about it. And if you want some help you know you can talk to me, right?"

He touches his fingers to her hand in thought, then smiles up at her. "Thanks, mum!"

"Anything for my..." she falls quiet for a second, shakes her head as before she corrects herself: "For my little man."

* * *

They continue like that for a long time: Hitoka keeps going to school without anybody knowing about him. It's okay, he tells himself, he doesn't want to make a ruckus, and it's enough to have his mother understand.

Atsushi, knows too, and that's okay, because Hitoka likes him. Hitoka’s not sure what he is – his mother’s assistant, a co-worker, something more maybe – but he's friendly and kind and when Hitoka sees him and Atsushi always takes out the time to chat with him for a bit, even though Madoka always tells him there's too much work to do when she sees it. He's used to Atsushi being over at their apartment sometimes after work hours, having dinner with them because it's late and Madoka doesn't want to make him travel on an empty stomach.

When the school starts talking about middle school applications the next year, Madoka asks him to have a chat with her, but instead of a _which schools are you thinking about_ his mother asks him whether he wants to start middle school as a boy.

"I," Hitoka starts and he stares at the dinner table between them, "I didn't even realise that was an option..."

There's a click and his eyes skim across the wooden surface to find Madoka tapping the back of her chopsticks on the table. _Bad manners,_ Hitoka kind of wants to say, like his mother always tells him.

"I looked into some things," she tells him, "and it should be possible." She pauses for a second. "I was thinking of moving."

Hitoka lifts his eyes to her face at that, surprised at the sudden declaration.

"It's not far," she continues, her gaze skirting around the room and turning on anything but Hitoka. "I just.. I want to start my own company and I thought it would.. maybe.. be nice.. if you could start over in middle school."

Again, Hitoka doesn't know what to say, his thoughts jumbled up with the different options and trying to catch up to all this new information. He's good at that, normally, when it comes to school, or books or TV shows, but when it comes to this himself?

 _Moving, huh?_ Hitoka thinks and he pushes a carrot slice across his plate. It's not that he would mind. He has friends, sure, but he's not particularly close with them, and there's no family other than his mother to take into consideration.. 

His mother though…

"What about Atsushi?" he asks.

Madoka repeats the half of the name in a voice pitched high with shock before she presses a hand to her chest and huffs out a breath to calm down.

"I asked _Shibue-san_ to come with me to the new company," she explains, still not looking at Hitoka and instead pinching some meat between her chopsticks. She brings it to her mouth slowly, as if she expects Hitoka to ask another question she should answer immediately, but Hitoka stays quiet for the rest of dinner.

"Hey, mum?" he calls for her attention when he's putting the last of the dishes away and his mother is draining the water from the sink. He waits for her to look up and wonders if he's ever seen her that nervous before.

"I think I'd really like that. All of it. Moving, the school, all of it."

When she hugs him tightly, he also admits: "And I think want to pick a new name together with you."

Half a year later, Hitoka and Madoka set down the last of the carboard boxes in the new living room, and look up to take in the view from the big windows.

"What about Hitoshi?" Madoka asks him as they watch the few people down on the pavement.

"Hitoshi," Hitoka repeats and then he nods. "I think I like that."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> For those of you who don't know:  
> I absolutely adore Yachi and Madoka and I like exploring family ties in my writing. I hope you enjoyed this short bit and will read and enjoy the other fics I plan to write and post in this series.
> 
> Again, thank you for reading. If you want to, please leave me a comment, I thrive on them.


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